Roxane Gay has a great essay about how “civility—this idea that there is a perfect, polite way to communicate about sociopolitical differences—is a fantasy.” I especially love this part:
They will tolerate a protest but only if you congregate in an orderly fashion, for culturally sanctioned causes, and if you don’t raise your voice or express anger or overstay your welcome.
Within this framework, incivility is refusing to surrender to hatred, refusing to smile politely at someone who doesn’t consider you their equal, refusing to carve away the seemingly unpalatable parts of yourself until there is nothing left.
